Little Miracles


Okay, I’m really not on a mission to drive everyone batty by carrying on endlessly about my current delicate condition.  But let’s face it: this is what’s going on for me at the moment, and it’s fairly monumental.  So deal with it.

I had forgotten how difficult the first trimester can be – and it gets more difficult each time because: (a) my age continues to advance and I ain’t no spry spring chicken anymore, and (b) there are all those other young ‘uns to look after.  Pregnancy symptoms are in full swing: nausea, splitting headaches, fatigue, insomnia.  It could be worse; I’m not actually hurling, I just spend a good part of the day feeling woozy and carsick.  This all bodes well for the pregnancy, I guess, but I confess that there are moments I just want to lie down and cry.  Or at least nap.  But the existing spawn won’t hear of it.  So I muddle through the days, counting the minutes until I can crawl between my cozy flannel sheets and (try to) sleep.

In the midst of all this misery, however, a miracle is blooming.  I don’t mean miracle in any religious sense – you know me, atheist to the bone.  The miracle of life, though, if I may be so sappy.  I noticed yesterday that my belly is poking out a little already (okay, I never did completely lose the bulge from the last few, but there’s a definite transformation taking place), the button of my jeans is digging uncomfortably into my skin, and when I stepped on the scale this morning I discovered that I’m up three pounds (I finally shed about 12 pounds during the early part of this year and got myself back down to where I was when Michael and I got married ten years ago; I now weigh more than I have in six months).  It’s hitting me: this is for real.  There is a tiny little baby growing inside me – something I thought I’d never experience again.  And despite my shock and bewilderment, and despite my current state of discomfort, it’s all coming back to me what a privilege this is.

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3 Comments on “Little Miracles”

  1. Heather Stewart Seal
    November 10, 2011 at 9:29 pm #

    It is such a privilege and miracle. I love being pregnant. Not the fatigue and sickness but knowing that another little person is growing inside of me. That’s probably why I had so many kids (that and that we were terrible with birth control! Haha). I’m jealous that you get this experience again. Just when you thought you would never experience it again.

  2. Caryl Becker Phillips
    November 11, 2011 at 5:23 am #

    You amaze me!

  3. meriahnichols
    November 12, 2011 at 3:01 pm #

    Hey Lisa,
    Sorry to be leaving this in the comment section but try as I did, I couldn’t find an email address anywhere on here or linked to your profile.
    I’m starting up a little writer’s alliance rather subtly called The International Alliance of Writers for Down Syndrome. (smile). Of course I’d love it if you joined – there is a facebook group, the widget is on my blog (www.withalittlemoxie.com) – the facebook group is a place for people to post their blog posts and connect. It’s a companion to the main blog, t21writersalliance.blogspot.com .
    I’d love to include your reviews, the Ds-related ones. You write well. If that’s okay, can shoot me an email with permission? I can spring from your 31-for-21 post on book reviews for the links. My email address is meriahh@gmail.com. To see how we are linking it, just google the site and the page “memoirs” and you can see my own and Megan’s. Thanks!

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