Day Is Done

The four littlest are safely tucked in bed, while Kevin and Joey watch a movie.  No change with Michael.  He’s still in the hospital, in a great deal of pain even though he’s drugged up on push-button pain meds, and as of an hour ago, he still hadn’t even seen a freaking doctor, just has the nurses looking after him.  No idea what’s going to happen.  I went to see him this afternoon and I’ll tell you, it was hard.  I would have stayed away if I could have; I would have been a coward if I could have gotten away with it.  I hate that hospital.  I know they saved my husband’s life a while back, but it’s wrapped up with so many bad memories for us.  He’s in the same unit now that he was in after his initial cancer surgery, and it all came rushing back to me when the elevator opened to that floor and I walked down that familiar hallway into the familiar-looking room, and found him there in bed, barely coherent or recognizable.  I stayed for a while and then made a run for it.  He was so out of it, I don’t think he had any idea how long I stayed.

Back home, life goes on.  There was still grocery shopping to do, dinner to be cooked and eaten, baths to be given, stories to be read, and fears to be soothed.  The house is quiet now, not so different from a night when Michael might work late or go to jam with his buddies at the studio.  But of course it feels different because he’s not working or jamming, he’s in the hospital, and so much feels unknown right now.

, , , ,

4 Comments on “Day Is Done”

  1. Jennifer Varanini Sanchez
    April 11, 2011 at 3:45 am #

    Holding you close tonight….I hope the morning brings you much comfort and that Michael is on his way home to you all soon.

  2. Stephanie
    April 11, 2011 at 6:15 am #

    Lisa, I’m in tears right now. I’m so thankful for the relationship we’ve formed online, but at the same time it’s really hard because I wish so much that I could physically be there for you. I’d help you out with the shopping and bring over casseroles. I’d be there to share a glass of wine when it’s quiet and all the littles are in bed and you could just rage or laugh or say nothing at all and I’d understand. Please know you are in my thoughts in the most profound way and please tell Michael too, that I’m thinking of him. Much love to you both.

  3. starrlife
    April 11, 2011 at 10:50 am #

    Ahhhh… thinking about you and your family. What the hell are they doing for him? Geesh. I hope that you have some support for the long haul.

  4. CJ Wilkes
    April 11, 2011 at 3:15 pm #

    You described the BITTER sweetness of life goes on perfectly. It SUCKS, moreso, it’s not fair. I hope that this moment in time will pass quickly for all of you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: