Duped By 3-Ply

I learned a very important lesson while we were vacationing in Cambria last week: 3-ply toilet paper isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

At home, we go through an incredible amount of toilet paper.  In the main bathroom, which is used regularly by the four females in our household, we easily go through an entire roll of TP every day.  Then there are Kevin’s and Joey’s shared bathroom, and the downstairs bathroom, which are collectively used by the males of the family (sans Finn, who’s still in diapers).  All this time, I thought I was doing my family a favor by buying TP not only in bulk, but by buying the so-called “double rolls.”  Because, really, who doesn’t want more bang for their buck when it comes to toilet paper?

The house we rented in Cambria had two bathrooms, and each bathroom was stocked with three rolls of 1-ply toilet paper.  One-ply!  I laughed.  “There’s no way this measly toilet paper is going to stand up to my family,” I thought.

Well, guess what.  I was wrong.

My personal research project revealed that it is human nature to pull approximately the same length of TP from the roll, whether it’s 1-ply, 2-ply, or 19-ply.  By virtue of this fact, a roll of 3-ply (even a “double-roll” of 3-ply, which, I bet if you weighed it, would weigh the same as a regular roll of 1-ply) will be used up at a more rapid pace than a roll of 1-ply.  I would estimate that one roll of 1-ply in Cambria lasted at least twice as long as one roll of 3-ply here at home – and I don’t think it had anything to do with location!

I contend that the toilet paper companies are out to dupe people!  That’s right.  It’s all part of a huge conspiracy by TP companies to (a) make you think you’re getting a better deal by buying their trumped-up TP, and (b) actually get you to use/buy more TP in order to line their pockets!  What is the world coming to, I ask you?!

Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Big Toilet Paper Corporation: I won’t be duped anymore!

So I decided to shop for my family’s bathroom tissue needs with a more critical eye this past weekend.  Who knew there’s so much to choose from?

In the olden days, people used corn husks.  Or corn cobs.  No, really.

Ouch, is all I can say.

And then, the old standby, pages torn from the Sears Roebuck catalogue.

We really are a spoiled society, aren’t we, with our endless supplies of cushy tissue with which to pamper our southern regions?

Modern toilet paper brands all have their supposed selling points.

Comfort and durability.  Right.  Or, you could just be more upfront about it:

Ummmm . . . ??  Wow.  I’m trying to picture the brainstorming around a conference table that went into that ad campaign.  And also, yeah, like I’m going to like toilet paper on Facebook.  Pfft.

Anyway, I went with plain old Scott brand.  Thirty rolls of 1-ply for $17.99.  I’m taking charge of the toilet paper situation in my house, and proud of it!


One Comment on “Duped By 3-Ply”

  1. Asha
    August 2, 2011 at 2:19 am #

    Welcome to the Scott’s fan club LOL!
    No, really that’s all we have been using b/c the thicker stuff plugs up the toilet since the kids use as much of it , as the thinner stuff, therefore we ended up with way too much paper in the bowl. One time i bought the more expensive stuff and it was plunger city all day long.

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