Another Footnote in Our Cancer Saga

Back in December, Michael had his annual CT/PET scan which revealed a suspicious spot on his liver.  For two weeks we lived with dread and fear that it meant his cancer had returned and metastasized. A subsequent scan, however, ruled out cancer, thank goodness.  That suspicious spot, it was deduced by his oncologist, was a remnant from the terrible infection he contracted post-surgery way back last Spring.

His doctor decided to take a wait and see approach, but alas, that suspicious spot has grown more troublesome, causing Michael quite a bit of pain and a sporadic fever.  Blood work also showed his white cell count elevated, so clearly we’re dealing with some kind of infection, and the “spot” is most likely an abscess.  An ultrasound last week showed the same spot on/near his liver, seemingly unchanged from when he had his scan in December.  Nonetheless, since it was causing him so much trouble, his doc decided to have him admitted to the hospital this morning on an outpatient basis to have the abscess drained.  Not a pleasant procedure, but it was expected that he would be in and out in a couple of hours.

Well, of course – of course! – when they got in there, it was much worse than anticipated.  So I got the call from Michael around lunchtime that they were going to keep him overnight while they continue to drain the abscess and pump him full of antibiotics.

Now, please allow me a few moments of foot stamping and fist shaking.  I’m tired of this one-thing-after-another.  This has been a three-year ordeal now – it’s been almost exactly three years since Michael was diagnosed with cancer, and though he was declared cancer-free two years ago, the saga has still not ended.  And here I am, way beyond Spring Chicken, halfway through my sixth pregnancy, and it doesn’t matter – I’m still the one who has to hold it all together, to be strong, to keep on keepin’ on.  I’m tired of health problems that never seem to resolve.  I’m tired of having to worry about everyone else and having nobody to worry about me – except me.  I’m tired of having to tell the kids, “Dad’s in the hospital . . . again.”

Michael is going to be fine.  Me?  I don’t know.

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8 Comments on “Another Footnote in Our Cancer Saga”

  1. Caryl Becker Phillips
    January 31, 2012 at 5:37 am #

    I worry about you. And I love you and care what happens to you. I am here if and when you need me. Anytime of the day or night.

  2. Meriah
    January 31, 2012 at 6:57 am #

    Well, I worry about you and I don’t even know you beyond what you write. But I know, it’s not the same is it, as having someone REALLY there and rubbing your feet and covering you with a shawl and making some nice cocoa or something for you…

  3. Alyson
    January 31, 2012 at 11:21 am #

    Lisa I am not going to try to put some happy spin on any of this. This has all been totally unfair. I know you have it in you to get through this ,but, it’s not fair that you have to. (((Hugs)))
    Always here for you.

  4. bethany @ our perfectly imperfect life
    January 31, 2012 at 1:17 pm #

    This is so sad and I can only imagine how you are feeling. Here is hoping to a healthy future with a break for the mama!

  5. Diane Miller Sheets
    January 31, 2012 at 3:25 pm #

    I’m sorry Lisa … health issues suck and cancer leads the pack of unfair and unforgiving diseases. My dad’s cancer is still sending our family into tailspins and it has been over 20 years … I know it’s not what you want to hear, but you are not alone.
    I hope that Michael is home soon and that you all can have a well deserved break.

  6. Asha
    January 31, 2012 at 7:28 pm #

    I am sorry that Michael is in the hospital again. It’s so not fair. Hopefully things go better this time. Keep us posted and I am sorry i can’t help!

  7. Kristi
    February 1, 2012 at 5:32 pm #

    Oh my goodness! I am so sorry! Keep us posted!!!!!


  1. So Long, 2012 | Life As I Know It - December 31, 2012

    […] in January, Michael had another brief hospital stay, which, looking back, I did not handle too well.  Granted I was pregnant, moody, tired, and […]

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