Not Taking It Back

Apparently, a few people who got their hands on my post from the other day, Better Off Dead, took it completely at face value and didn’t understand that I was using sarcasm and dark humor to get a point across.  As of this writing, that post has been viewed 964 times; it’s been linked to and shared on Facebook, which I think is super cool, because my intention was to make an impact.  I guess my oversight was in assuming that everyone who read it would get it (and the vast majority do appear to have gotten it, thank goodness).  I thought the juxtaposition of the photos, plainly showing how much Finn is valued by our family, with the stinging words I wrote would get across a certain point: that I am outraged and appalled that new prenatal tests are being developed and savvily marketed in order to boost the bottom line for the companies that develop and manufacture them – and at what cost?  The cost of humanity.  The cost of human life.

I tried to make this point by speaking from a point of view that I assume those companies would have me speak: I should have undergone prenatal screening; my son was a mistake; this all could have been avoided.  Isn’t that what these companies, and even the medical community who urge their pregnant patients to undergo these tests, want us to think?  Or do you think they’re acting out of some sense of compassion – that they just want to offer families a chance to be prepared, and to that end, they have every intention of providing accurate, well-rounded, up-to-date information about what it actually means to have Down syndrome?

I thought that by writing an outrageous post, people would get how outrageous the whole thing is, and how appalled we should all be at the way financial gain now trumps humanity.

I’ve written before about prenatal screenings, and abortion, and my feelings on those issues: I’m not against prenatal screenings per se, just the apparent intent behind them and the way they are generally handled.  I remain staunchly pro-choice, but I don’t believe a real choice is being made if full, accurate information isn’t being provided.  Time and time again I’ve read that somewhere in the neighborhood of 90% of prenatally diagnosed cases of Down syndrome end in termination of the pregnancy.  What does that mean?  It means that women and families are still being fed ugly, worst-case scenario, outdated information about Down syndrome.  That’s not providing an opportunity for real choice.

In hindsight, I can sort of see how if that post was the first and only glimpse someone got of me and my blog, it might not sit well with them.  I sort of get that.  I’m still taken aback that just a little bit deeper of a look wouldn’t reveal it for what it was.  And if you take even a short little trip around my blog, you can see that I am sarcastic.  I’m not your garden-variety Down syndrome blogger; I’m atheist, I use swear words, I use sarcasm, I rant, and I generally get my hands dirty.  Sometimes I talk about things that make some people uncomfortable.  I make no apologies.  Underneath it all, my son means everything to me, just as all of my children do.  And I will continue to fight tirelessly to have his place in the world respected.


9 Comments on “Not Taking It Back”

  1. mumofone
    March 3, 2012 at 12:31 am #

    2 things:
    1/. You almost made me laugh that people took this seriously….until I realised YOU were serious….oh dear – what is humanity coming to!!??
    2/. Remember – it only takes one blog post to go viral and the rest is history – you will remember the rest of us if you become the next Rick/Kelle/Heather won’t you 🙂

  2. Heidi Kestrel
    March 3, 2012 at 4:08 am #

    Lisa, I love your moxie. Thanks for sharing with us.

  3. Mireille Halley
    March 3, 2012 at 7:38 am #

    It takes a minimum of intelligence to “get” sarcasm. It’s scary how many don’t have that much.

  4. Holly F.
    March 3, 2012 at 4:38 pm #

    Better off Dead was my first glimpse of you.

    Sarcasm detected. Blog post shared.

    It always shocks me when sarcasm (and really, it was pretty obvious…at least to me) is not understood. If you really thought your son was better off dead, why would you waste time blogging about it and posting such puuuurrrrdy pictures. Would you have him locked away somewhere like parents that abuse their children?

    • Holly F.
      March 3, 2012 at 4:44 pm #

      That was supposed to be: “WouldN’T you have him locked….”

  5. Jody
    March 4, 2012 at 2:31 pm #

    Seriously, people misunderstood that post? That’s crazy talk. Your sarcasm was kinda obvious….just glad it got attention.

  6. Alyson
    March 4, 2012 at 4:25 pm #

    Really people misunderstood that post? How could anyone not see the sarcasm? I am losing faith in our society more and more

  7. Anna
    March 5, 2012 at 12:16 pm #

    Here’s to making a splash, Lisa! You go, lady!

  8. You are an eloquent writer. I love your blog!! I too am pro-choice but do believe that the lack of knowledge and accurate information and the true FEAR that is instilled in many women by doctors needs to be solved…step by step, little by little. One conversation/blog post at a time….

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