One Month

I can’t believe it’s been a month already since Scarlett was born.

She’s changed so much; she hardly looks like the same baby.  It was hard at first to figure out who she looked like.  After a few days, I saw a resemblance to Annabelle and Lilah.  Now people are saying she looks like me, and at first I didn’t see it, but I’m starting to now.  It’s weird – I’ve never had a kid who looked like me.

She’s starting to reward us with those first goofy baby smiles – real smiles.  (Which is not to say that she’s not still quite a fuss bucket – she is.  Man, can that girl scream!)

There are times when she won’t let me put her down, when I spend hours sitting with her, trying to soothe her, trying to get her to go to sleep . . . and then when she does finally go to sleep and lets me put her down, I find myself missing her.  I like having her close, and I feel very possessive of her.  Which makes sense, if you think about it: she’s been with me since conception; why wouldn’t I have a hard time separating from her this early on?  I have friends who want to hold her for hours, and I imagine they think they’re doing me a favor by giving me a break (or satisfying their own baby lust), but the truth is, right now I still feel like she’s a part of me, and I miss the soft, warm weight of her when we’re apart.

As for me, it’s been a tough go all the way around, this recovery.  First a bad case of the blues, which, thankfully, began to lift a week or so ago.  But right when I started feeling better in my head, I got a bad case of mastitis, and that was miserable.  Then that started clearing up, and I started having abnormally heavy postpartum bleeding – at a time when it should have been petering out.  That appears to have resolved now, but for a few days I was scared and just really bummed that one more problem seemed to have appeared.

I’m finally starting to feel better in every way, so hopefully things will remain on an upswing.  Seems to me that this is just a sign that chicks as old as me . . . well, anyway.

Here’s a montage of my birth photos.  Some of the pics are fairly graphic, so if you’re squeamish about that sort of thing, or if you won’t be able to look me in the eye after seeing pics of a baby coming out of me, do us both a favor and skip it.  I think birth is beautiful, though, and Scarlett’s birth was by far the best of all my birth experiences.  A wonderful note to end my childbearing career on.

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11 Comments on “One Month”

  1. Alyson
    July 23, 2012 at 7:45 pm #

    Lisa she does look just like you!! Totally has your eyes too. She is simply gorgeous. I am so happy that things are starting to settle for you,that first month can be a b*tch. I totally get the possessive thing, I was the same exact way.

  2. Holly F.
    July 23, 2012 at 8:05 pm #

    OMGosh, she is so beautiful.

    This is where I would insert a funny little picture with the caption “I has da baby lust BAD” but I don’t admit that anywhere near my husband. He was “fixed”, with my urging and approval, after Trent’s birth so I don’t know where the lust is coming from, but it is definitely there.

    I’m happy for you that you are feeling better in all ways! I love birthing stories/videos but am at work so I will watch it later. I’m sure it is beautiful!

  3. Donna
    July 23, 2012 at 8:22 pm #

    Thank you for sharing. I had all 3 of mine (over 23 years ago), totally natural, no interventions, no drugs, nothing in a hospital setting. I actually had my second in the hallway of the hospital. How I wish that home births were an option back then.

  4. Caryl Becker Phillips
    July 23, 2012 at 11:02 pm #


  5. Gretchen Gear
    July 24, 2012 at 2:46 am #

    You, Lisa, are a miracle! I wish we lived close to one another… what a privilege that would be. Thank you for showing life as it can be… as it used to be, long ago. I know what you are doing is a lot of work… every minute of every day. So glad to hear things are getting easier in every way.

    I agree… Scarlett Rose looks just like her mommy… absolutely beautiful. Congratulations once again from your “neighbor” in Oregon 🙂

    Blessings to you all… loved the video and music…

    • Lisa
      July 24, 2012 at 3:46 am #

      Well. gosh, Gretchen! Thank you for all the kind words – really means a lot to me 🙂

  6. Meriah
    July 24, 2012 at 11:38 am #

    That was beautiful, Lisa. Really lovely . I think that was pretty brave of you to share – thank you for that

  7. Melissa Beers
    July 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm #

    Lisa she is absolutely beautiful – glad you are starting to feel better too – its take me a long time too this time around to feel better, like myself. I almost cried reading your post about the “rush” to feel normal again and how we are expected to. I was outside playing soccer with my 4 year old 2 weeks after a c-section because there was no one else to. I did not have any help – take it where you can get it!

  8. Laura
    July 24, 2012 at 3:23 pm #

    Hi Lisa,

    She is beautiful and the absolute image of you! I hope you back to feeling like your old self very soon. Loving your excellent blog. 🙂

  9. Kristi
    July 24, 2012 at 6:01 pm #

    She is just lovely!!! Hopefully you will be feeling like yourself soon!

    P.S. Had to move over to WordPress. Blogger would not allow me to upload pictures anymore!!

  10. Amy
    July 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm #

    Aww you have a “mini me”, I have one too, it’s fun 🙂
    She’s gorgeous, huge congrats to you!

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