Just For a Day . . .


Just for a day, I’d like to be okay with me.

Just for a day, I’d like to not feel like I’m failing, or falling short of the mark as a mother.

Just for a day, I’d like to stop beating myself up for not being the sort of mother I envisioned I would be.

Just for a day, I’d like to stop beating myself up for not being like other mothers I see around me (and to remember that they all have their struggles, too).

Just for a day, I’d like to stop those words that play in my head on a loop: “You’re not doing it right, this motherhood thing.  You need to be kinder.  No, you need to be more consistent.  You need to be more organized.  No, you need to relax your standards.”

Just for a day, I’d like to figure out a way to allow myself to just breathe.  To stop and smell the roses.  To savor the little things.  To just be.

Just for a day, I’d like to find the joy in motherhood that I used to feel before I became so overwhelmed by it all.  Because a little voice keeps telling me, “They’re going to grow up before you know it.  Yes, it’s hard, really, really hard sometimes, but someday you’re going to miss this time.”

Just for a day, I’d like to feel like the Super Woman others see me as.  People say to me, “Seven kids!  Wow!  I don’t know how you do it.”  I don’t know how I do it, either, and the truth is, a good part of the time, I don’t feel like I’m doing it well.  I yell too much, I don’t plan well, I feel frazzled and drained and  . . . the truth?  Often angry.  Frequently sad.  Why can’t my kids behave better? I ask myself.  What am I doing wrong?  Why is this so damn hard?  But other people seem to see a completely different picture, and I wonder how that is.

Just for a day, I wish I could see that picture.

Just for a day, I wish I could see me and my kids and my family as others seem to see us – as something pretty special.  Amazing, even.

Just for a day, I wish I could figure out how to be a friend to myself.  The kind of friend I try to be to others.  The kind that listens, reassures, comforts, and sees the good in.  Why is it so hard to be kind to myself?

Just for a day, I wish I could do all these things, these little, but enormously difficult things.  Because I think, maybe, if I could do it just for a day, then I could do it for a lifetime.

~*~

See what other moms have written on this topic, and join the Writing Prompt Community: Just For a Day

 

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5 Comments on “Just For a Day . . .”

  1. memyselfandkids
    September 13, 2012 at 7:58 pm #

    It is hard when we are our own worst enemy.

  2. Ellen Stumbo
    September 13, 2012 at 10:18 pm #

    I only have 3 kids and sometimes I feel the same way you do. Thank you for sharing your honest post with us, it is good to know we are not the only ones that feel that way.

  3. Asha
    September 14, 2012 at 2:43 am #

    Ditto. Everything. And hugs.

  4. jen
    September 14, 2012 at 12:18 pm #

    Ah, the human condition, thinking we’re not good enough. Sucks, doesn’t it? But you don’t have to be a superstar to be good enough. There’s no one right way and no matter what way you choose, there will always be someone ready to say you’re doing it wrong.

    If you get through most of your days okay and the family you’re caring for is relatively well adapted, you’re doing good enough. I hope that maybe today will be the day for even just a little tiny bit of knowing you’re good enough.

  5. Melissa
    October 4, 2012 at 10:43 pm #

    Yep, all that! Motherhood is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. I never realized I would lose so much of myself in order to take care of my kids…

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